Byron Leftwich is an embarrassment to himself, others

Remember when Ozzie Newsome tried to engineer a draft-day trade so that Baltimore could sneak up in the first round and select Marshall QB Byron Leftwich? The league's phone lines were busy so the Ravens were unable to complete the trade in time. You know what happened next: The Ravens ended up with Terrell Suggs and Kyle Boller instead.

Side note: How the F does the NFL not have call waiting?

Somehow Kyle Boller still has a job. Today Leftwich was cut. Again. This time by the Atlanta Falcons, only a year after getting cut by the Jags in favor of David Garrard, who whaddyaknow actually turned out to be pretty damn good. If it weren't for the Cheatriots Patriots, Garrard and the Jags may have battled it out with Plaxico Fantastico and Escape-artist Eli for a chance to wear gaudy jewelery.

Anyway, back to my man Byron Leftwich. Here is what Atlanta's GM had to say after today's cuts, which included seven players: “This is a difficult day for the entire organization. A number of these players have contributed to this organization on and off the field at a high level."

Clearly he wasn't talking about Leftwich, who during his one year in the Dirty Dirty couldn't stay healthy, throw touchdowns or even complete very many passes (32 in three games total). What's this dude's problem? Too many cheeseburgers? Too many late nights at the strip club? Competition too tough? That last one has gotta be it. Joey Harrington and Chris Redman. Also known as The Intimidators. Redman, by the way, wasn't even good enough to play QB in Baltimore, where they'll give anyone a shot.

Stoney Case!

In all fairness, Redman did make it a few seasons in Baltimore, but I'm convinced that was only because he went to same college as Johnny Unitas (Louisville) and because he also won the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award. Baltimore loves it some Johnny U. I hope that Redman's Golden Arm is proudly displayed on the mantle of a rented apartment in some crappy suburb somewhere. That right there is the highlight of your career, buddy.

It's time to write the epilogue on Byron Leftwich's football career.

Byron Leftwich: This guy was a pretty good football player in college because he was really tall and strong and played against weak competition and one time his teammates carried him down the field after he broke his leg and it was really dramatic but I'm pretty sure they still lost that game anyway and then he went to the NFL and was a complete bust and even Baltimore wouldn't take him these days and that's saying a lot because Baltimore's quarterbacks have always sucked except Steve McNair for about five minutes and Vinny Testaverde for one season way back in the 19-motherfuckin'-90s.